What should I do when my child says “I’ll do it in a minute”?

“I’ll do it in a minute” can be a sincere intention. It can also be a way to protect the current activity, avoid an unwanted task or end the conversation. You do not need to decide which before making the plan more usable.

The difficulty is that a minute often has no clock, event or first action attached.

Decide whether waiting is genuinely available

If the task can wait, say how long. If it cannot, do not invite a delay and then resent the answer.

The parcel can wait until eight. At eight, put it beside the front door.

We cannot wait because the clinic closes. Shoes now; I will carry the bag.

Give the real reason without inventing urgency. A child who hears every household preference described as an emergency has less reason to trust future deadlines.

Keep the outcome separate from flexibility. The cup may need returning tonight while the child can choose the end of the round or the next advert break.

Give the minute an endpoint

Use something both people can recognise:

• a clock time;
• the end of a level, round, programme or song;
• completion of one current action;
• one agreed countdown, if timers do not cause distress.

Then name the next physical action:

When this round ends, save the game and put the plate on the kitchen counter.

“Do your jobs” reopens planning. “Put the plate on the counter” creates a start.

If the child cannot estimate a suitable delay, offer two real options. “End of this round or 7.15?” is easier to use than “When will you do it?” Do not offer a later option that misses the actual deadline. Write or message the agreement if the child is likely to lose the spoken plan while returning to their activity.

For online games, learn whether the activity has a safe stopping point. Agree the latest time a new round can begin rather than demanding an impossible instant exit halfway through shared play.

Use one cue

Once the endpoint is agreed, stop narrating the remaining time. Repeated “remember what you promised” messages can turn the delay into a continuous demand.

At the cue, describe what you see:

The round ended and the plate is still here. Is the block stopping the game, standing up or starting the kitchen job?

This does not erase the agreement. It protects the chance of finding why it failed.

NHS advice for children with ADHD includes clear, simple instructions one at a time and a visible list ^[2]. NICE includes written reinforcement and environmental changes among support options ^[1]. Neither guarantees that a child can switch at the cue.

Do not turn the missed minute into a trial

Avoid:

You said you would. You always say that. Why should I believe anything?

The current action becomes evidence about the child's character and every earlier delay. Try:

The plan did not produce the action. The plate still needs moving. I can pause the screen while you do it, or walk with you.

If the child refuses a reasonable contribution, the household boundary can remain. Use a consequence connected to the task where possible, not a growing list of unrelated punishments.

Adults need to honour the agreed endpoint too. If the child asks to finish one page and the adult interrupts halfway through because patience has run out, "in a minute" stops being a genuine agreement. Say at the outset when the proposed endpoint is too late, or identify the earlier stopping point together.

If the child begins before the cue, avoid turning that into a joke about miracles or proof they could always have moved. Let successful switching stay ordinary and useful.

Review why the plan failed

Later, ask:

• Did the child notice the endpoint?
• Could the activity stop there?
• Was the next action clear?
• Were materials or access missing?
• Did the child still believe the delay would extend?
• Was the original task too large, distressing or disputed?
• Did adult cues feel helpful or controlling?

Research finds average differences in experimental time-perception tasks between ADHD and comparison groups, with considerable variation ^[3]. It does not show that every “in a minute” is time blindness, or that a child cannot make a choice to delay.

Build a reusable response

Agree a family phrase:

Give me the endpoint and first action.

The child might answer, “At the end of this video, I put the washing in the basket.” If the proposal does not meet the deadline, negotiate the time without arguing about motive.

Track whether agreements lead to action with fewer prompts. If they do not, use the guide to starting a postponed task to find the missing part.

The goal is not to ban “in a minute”. It is to convert a vague intention into a trustworthy transition, or to say honestly when the family cannot wait.

Sources and further reading

1. [1] NICE. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: diagnosis and management. 2018; last reviewed May 2025 (accessed 4 August 2026).
2. [2] NHS. ADHD in children and young people. Page last reviewed March 2025 (accessed 4 August 2026).
3. [3] Zheng and colleagues. Time perception deficits in children and adolescents with ADHD: a meta-analysis. 2022 (accessed 4 August 2026).