How do I get my teenager to shower and use deodorant?

The short answer

Begin with a private, factual conversation: puberty changes sweat, skin and hair, so the old childhood routine may no longer keep the body and clothes clean. Then work out which part is missing. Your teenager may not notice odour, remember to begin, know how to wash effectively, tolerate the shower or product, have clean clothes ready, or understand how often the routine is needed. Agree a clear minimum for ordinary days and after sport, write the steps where only they can see them, put products and towels within reach and use a discreet reminder rather than repeated comments. Offer a genuine choice of suitable wash and deodorant or antiperspirant formats. Review whether the routine actually works and seek pharmacy or GP advice if odour or sweating changes, remains troublesome despite self-care, affects self-esteem or is accompanied by skin problems or illness. Protect privacy throughout; embarrassment does not teach the missing skill.

• Find out whether the barrier is noticing, starting, sequencing, sensory access, skill or supplies.
• State the health and social purpose without describing the teenager as dirty or embarrassing.
• Agree an observable minimum routine and a discreet prompt.
• Include clean clothes, towels and laundry in the plan.
• Seek health advice when sweating, odour or skin changes remain concerning.