How do I find the pattern? Keeping a one-week behaviour log

A behaviour log should make family life easier to understand. If it becomes a second full-time job, it will not last long enough to help.

Use one week, one question and a few lines per entry.

Choose one observable focus

Avoid “bad behaviour” or “difficult evenings”. Define what you will record:

• leaving the table before eating;
• hitting during sibling conflict;
• being unable to enter the classroom;
• throwing objects when gaming ends; or
• taking more than 45 minutes to begin bedtime steps.

Choose the situation with the greatest impact or the clearest boundary. Do not combine shouting, sleep, food, homework and toileting into one log.

Tell the child in an accessible way when possible. The record is not secret evidence against them.

Use six short fields

For each occurrence, write:

1. What happened: only what was seen and heard.
2. Ten minutes before: activity, request, change and people present.
3. Possible pressures: body, surroundings, communication and task.
4. What changed afterwards: demands, attention, place, sensory input or access.
5. Recovery: time, support and later impact.
6. Child's account: now, later or “not available”.

NICE guidance on functional assessment recommends clear description, direct observation and attention to events and situations associated with when behaviour does and does not occur ^[1]. A family log uses that observation principle lightly. It is not a professional functional assessment.

Keep observation and explanation apart

Write:

Put hands over ears, pushed the chair back and went under the table when the blender started.

Do not write:

Had a sensory meltdown to get out of dinner.

The first entry can support several questions. The second has already decided the sensory cause, type of event and intention.

Use the six-step Behaviour Decoder method after the week to form a hypothesis. During the week, collect rather than argue.

A complete entry can still be short

What happened: At 7.35, Leon lay on the bathroom floor, pushed the toothbrush away twice and shouted “No teeth”. No one was hit.

Before: He had stopped a video after one warning, gone upstairs with Dad and was given three spoken instructions about toilet, pyjamas and teeth.

Pressures: Late bedtime after football, several instructions and the mint toothpaste may have contributed.

Afterwards: Teeth were postponed. Leon went to the bedroom with the light low and accepted a drink ten minutes later.

Recovery and account: Settled after about 15 minutes. Later pointed to “spicy” when offered two words for the toothpaste.

This entry does not announce that toothpaste caused the incident. It preserves the timing, language load, tiredness, sensory possibility, safety and the child's later information. The next comparable entry can show whether changing toothpaste helps, whether shorter instructions matter or whether the whole bedtime was already beyond capacity.

Do not turn the form into a cross-examination. If Leon does not want to discuss it later, record that and continue observing. An account may emerge through behaviour, choices or a professional assessment rather than a parent question.

Record days that go better

If the child usually struggles to enter school, add a morning when entry was easier. Match the situation as closely as possible and record:

• sleep and physical health;
• time and pace;
• who was present;
• sensory conditions;
• how information was given;
• support used; and
• what followed.

An easier moment may show that a named adult, later arrival, breakfast, a visible first task or reduced crowding changed access. Success is evidence too.

Do not use one good day to say the child can always manage. Compare conditions and cost.

Make the entry sustainable

Write within a few hours if possible, after safety and connection have been restored. Use approximate times honestly. Three lines are better than a perfect form abandoned on day two.

If there are many occurrences, record one representative event and a daily count rather than the full story each time. For rare events, extend the observation period instead of trying to provoke one.

Keep the log secure. Remove sibling details and intimate health information from the version sent to school unless they are necessary. Ask before including a teenager's private words.

Agree what the log will not contain. Intimate care, private disclosures and another family member's personal information need strong reasons before they are recorded or shared. A neutral code can sometimes mark a relevant health factor without distributing unnecessary detail. Keep the full account only where it is needed and share a focused summary rather than copying every recipient into raw family notes.

Tell the child, in an accessible way, that the purpose is to change support. If the record is being used only to count failures or justify a decision already made, it is not an enquiry.

Review the week

At the end, highlight repeated conditions rather than the most dramatic entry:

• time of day;
• hunger, pain, sleep or toileting;
• particular demands or transitions;
• noise, crowding or people;
• spoken-language load;
• absence or presence of support;
• what the behaviour changed; and
• recovery required.

NICE autism guidance lists communication, physical and mental health, sensory and social environment, routine changes and predictability among factors to assess when distressed behaviour occurs ^[2]. Oxford Health also advises considering hidden pain, illness, tiredness and hunger ^[3]. These sources guide questions; they do not let a log diagnose autism or identify a medical cause.

Write one or two possibilities:

The three difficult entries followed an immediate transition from school transport to homework without food. On both easier days, there was a snack and no spoken question for 20 minutes.

That is more useful than “after school is always awful.”

Test one change

Choose a small change connected with the repeated condition: food before questions, a quieter entrance, one written instruction, a warning, a different seat or a clear pause signal.

Keep everything else as stable as ordinary family life allows. Test across several natural occasions. Record the whole effect, including adult effort, distress and recovery, not only whether the task was completed.

If the change does not help, keep the information. The hypothesis may be incomplete, the delivery may be wrong or another pressure may matter more.

What to share with professionals

Share a one-page summary:

• the focus and dates;
• the common sequence;
• easier comparisons;
• the child's view;
• changes tested and their effect;
• safety or health concerns; and
• the question you want help answering.

Bring the raw log if requested, but do not expect a professional to find the pattern inside pages of unfiltered detail.

Stop recording when it causes harm

Pause if the child feels watched, family members begin interpreting every action, or the log increases conflict. Never recreate distress, secretly film intimate care or delay urgent health help in order to collect better evidence.

New severe behaviour, loss of skills, suspected pain, self-injury or danger needs appropriate assessment now. The log can accompany that help; it should not postpone it.

A useful next step

Write the one question your week will answer: “What differs between school-entry mornings that are manageable and those that are not?”

Print the behaviour translation sheet or use the interactive decoder. Put the review date on the first page.

One focused week is enough to replace a vague impression with a better question. That is the purpose of the log.