Should my child tell their friends and teachers?

The short answer

There is no single list of people who should be told. Decide one person and one purpose at a time. Relevant school staff may need enough information to understand the child's needs and arrange support, but that does not mean every member of staff or the class needs the full assessment report. Friends are a separate decision. A child may tell one trusted friend, wait, use a brief explanation of a need without naming the diagnosis, or decide not to share. Older children and teenagers should have meaningful control over the words, timing and audience. Discuss possible benefits and unhelpful reactions, agree what the other person may repeat, and make a plan for questions or teasing. Do not promise absolute secrecy where safety information must be shared; explain any limit honestly.

• Treat each disclosure as a decision about a person, purpose, detail and timing.
• Telling selected school staff does not require a public announcement or unrestricted circulation of the full report.
• A diagnosis and a request for a specific adjustment are not always the same conversation.
• The child may choose different levels of openness with teachers, friends, clubs and family.
• Plan for both helpful and unhelpful responses without predicting either.