Should my teenager tell people they are autistic or have ADHD?

The short answer

There is no single disclosure decision. Help your teenager decide separately for a teacher, friend, employer, activity leader, clinician or online contact. Start with the purpose: obtaining an adjustment, explaining a communication need, sharing an important part of identity or asking for understanding. Then decide the minimum useful information, who should receive it, how it will be said and what the person may do with it. A diagnosis can help some people understand and provide support. It can also be met with disbelief, stereotypes, intrusive questions or changed expectations. Do not promise either outcome. The teenager may disclose a need without naming a diagnosis in some situations, or share the diagnosis with selected staff but not peers. Explain honestly when information is required for a particular process, health decision or immediate safety concern. Agree before speaking on their behalf wherever possible. Prepare a short response to questions and a route out of the conversation. Review after the event. Privacy is not denial, and disclosure is not a duty to educate everybody.

• Make separate decisions for separate people and settings.
• Identify the purpose before deciding how much information is useful.
• Prepare for support, misunderstanding and no immediate response without predicting which will occur.
• Let the teenager control wording and timing wherever safety and process allow.
• Sharing a diagnosis does not create an obligation to answer every question.