What if my other child resents their brother or sister?

The short answer

Do not correct resentment before finding out what it is protecting. Ask privately about the moments that feel hardest: cancelled plans, damaged belongings, unequal access to a parent, fear, noise, embarrassment or caring work. A child can love their sibling and still resent what family life asks of them. Name the cost without blaming either child. Then change something adults control, such as protected time, supervision, privacy, replacement of damaged possessions or who carries a regular task. Explain necessary differences in plain language, but do not use diagnosis to close the discussion. Keep substantial caring and safety responsibility with adults. Do not demand affection, gratitude or reassurance. Judge progress by whether the child can speak honestly and regain parts of life that belong to them, not by whether they stop expressing anger.

• Treat resentment as information about an unmet need or repeated cost.
• Ask about specific parts of family life rather than demanding a verdict on the sibling.
• Change an adult-controlled arrangement instead of arguing the feeling away.
• Keep safety, supervision and substantial caring responsibility with adults.
• Do not make warmth or closeness the condition for receiving support.