How do I help with friendships without taking over?

The short answer

Ask what kind of contact your child wants and which part they want help with. A parent may need to contact another family, arrange travel, explain an access need, prepare a shared activity or stay nearby. That is support around the opportunity. Taking over begins when the adult chooses the friend, supplies every line, monitors silence, insists on another meeting or judges the relationship by how sociable it looks. Agree your role before the event and give the child a private way to ask for more or less help. Offer optional language for joining, clarifying, saying no and ending, then let the children alter or ignore it. Afterwards, ask what felt comfortable, difficult or worth repeating. Friendship remains mutual: better preparation can make connection accessible, but it cannot guarantee that two children will like one another.

• Begin with the child's own wish for contact rather than an adult target.
• Support the setting, transport and communication without directing the relationship.
• Agree where the adult will be and how the child can ask for help privately.
• Offer scripts as editable options, never as a performance requirement.
• Let mutual interest, comfort and safety decide whether contact continues.